November 9, 2017

I was so bored.

 

 

 

11:59 P.M

November 1, 2017

My dad arrived at midnight yesterday from the Philippines. With lots of presents, mostly my childhood sweets – Trust me, I could go on for months eating only Dewberries.

Also, the final announcement for KHNP is today. I’m not worried my name isn’t going to be in the list of accepted candidates. But I do worry about the afterwards. What if I get in? And what if I don’t? I’m seriously stressed out.

 

 

 

10:54 AM

 

Well I didn’t make it in KHNP. I’m not too depressed though – in fact, I’m not even a little bit sad. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to get in, of course. I truly did. But I strived to show my best and if the results stated that I didn’t qualify, let that be it.

 

October 21, 2017

So when I started this blog, I promised myself to blog at least once a week.

I really can’t believe I came back three months after since my last post on my journal page.

*

The biggest issue from my missing 105 days would be yesterday, when I had my job interview for KHNP (Korea Hydra Nuclear & Power Co.). I was thrilled to get the day over with, to be honest really. I was overwhelmed by the whole week because my interview and mid term exams were scheduled on the same day. I had English and Physics II tests on Tuesday, Chinese and Calculus on Wednesday, and Literature on Thursday as well as my interview in the afternoon. I screwed up Calculus and Literature because I couldn’t find the time to study them both, and I think giving up on the two to get myself focused more on the other subjects and the interview wasn’t such a bad idea considering they were the top two subjects that required the most time and effort.

The interview was on 3:35 p.m., but I went out early to get a feel of the atmosphere. Too early, I guess, because by the time I arrived the clock was pointing 2:00 sharp.  I grabbed my papers to prepare for the debate session, and time went pretty fast.

By about 3:00, all other interviewees arrived and gathered in the hall. There were about 15 students including myself, and I was the only girl. Of course.

When the minute hand stroke 8 a person called for us to line up with our application forms and identification documents. We were then divided into two, to decide which  group would have their individual or debate session first. I was sorted to group B, and I was told to line up with 6 other students and get ready for the debate.

Shortly after, we entered a room with 3 examiners on the front and 7 desks forming a U, with the opening facing them. They introduced how the debate was going to be proceeded, and we were given 10 minutes to read the papers laid on our desks. Because I had no information about the topic, I was a little astounded by what was laid in front of me. Although the topic wasn’t too bad, it was definitely NOT what I hoped for.

The debate went on for 30 minutes. All other students had excellent ideas and outstandingly defended their states but I don’t think I did so well. Buffering on my statements were one thing, but I said something completely out of the blue that I even surprised myself as the words were coming out of my mouth. 30 minutes flew past us like seconds, and we left the room with frowns on our faces. Nobody seemed to be pleased by their performances.

While waiting for our individual interviews, we got to know each other and were offered the pleasure of food to fill our empty stomachs. I hadn’t eaten anything since I woke up, so I was basically starving. Talking was fun- I really got the nervous feeling out of my system and they all had a good sense of humor. Everyone seemed nice.

I was last to get my interview, and by the time it reached me I was tired from waiting so long that I was happy to get myself into the room and answer questions. There were 3 interviewers, again, loading me with ridiculous amount of questions that I swear I gave up thinking half way through the interview.

I packed my things and left the conference halls, calling my teacher and mom about the whole thing. I was tired – both mentally and physically. Also, as if the day wasn’t enough, it was still Thursday – which meant that I had school when I woke up. All I could think of was how I would drag my damn worn out body to shower then bed.

 

 

 

12:59 PM

 

July 29, 2017

Totally forgot about this journal to be honest.

I went on a short trip to Russia, and I completely lost track of life.

*

Russia was amazing. It was a school thing, actually, and team members were selected after papers and interviews because our purpose was to teach. To my understanding, this was a program arranged by ALCoB (APEC Learning Community Builders) and NEFU (North-Eastern Federal University in Yakutsk State) for the educational sake of both Russian and Korean students. Basically we stayed in their dormitories and every morning we went to the NEFU buildings to teach Russian students about programming and HOVIS, our cute little green robot.

HOVIS was a real pain in the ass when we were assembling it, but programming it was easy to teach since my two partners were such smarties. We communicated perfectly, and they were so eager to absorb every little detail I could give that I had to spend extra hours in the dorms to prepare for the lessons. I could still see their faces full of smiles and energy.

We were also assigned a team activity, where each team became “companies” and had to present a detailed presentation about their product by the end of the week. Our team focused on the field of service, more specifically on smartphone application. I suggested an app which ill users could post about their symptoms, and would be provided with a list of related medicines and comments from licensed doctors. Everyone agreed on proceeding with my idea, and I became our team leader and “CEO”.

My overall stay in Russia was a fantastic mist of blue and yellow. The weather was always super hot and dry, which, didn’t seem to make sense – sure it could be dry, but I mean hot? Russia? HOT? Seriously? One would normally imagine Russia to be snowy to the human height. But as if to tease my stereotype, the temperature was mostly very, very, hot. Due to the heat and the low humidity, mornings were accompanied by forest fires and thick fogs. Other than that the environmental conditions were somewhat similar to those of Korea. The students I met in Russia were hard-core extroverts. I’m a socially outgoing person myself, but really, I’ve never met such peppy folks. I enjoyed their company so much and I’m still in contact with some of them.

*

It has been over a week since I returned and it’s vacation. It’s a short summer break roughly of about a month or so, but despite that I have a long bucket list to cross out. First up, I’ve got to lose the weight I brought from Russia.

 

 

 

11:38 P

July 10, 2017

Exams, Over, Thank God.

Actually the exams ended last Friday, but I spent the weekend burying myself under my thick ivory covers. I did great on Calculus, but not so well on Physics. I guess I overthought too much.

*

A question from our recent Physics II test I mistakenly solved was about finding the ratio between two specific heat with given applied heat, temperature change, and mass of both substances.

The specific heat capacity of a substance or simply specific heat (c), is the amount of heat energy required to raise the temperature of one gram of the substance by one degree (ºC). It can be easily calculated using the Heat Formula q = mc$\Delta T,\; where\; q\; is\; the\; heat\; energy\; gained\; or\; lost\; by\; a\; substance,\; m\; is\; mass\; (in\; grams),\; and \Delta T\; is\; the\; change\; in\; temperature.$

I wasn’t focused enough – I solved it as if the two substances were applied with different heat and therefore came out with an answer of 3:8, whereas the correct response was 1:2.

*

I couldn’t stop smiling as I went through my Calculus test sheets – I could see through the tricks laid out, and I still had 30 minutes left to go over the whole test a couple of times.

 

 

 

9:09 PM

 

 

 

June 26, 2017

I want the rain to forever pour down and gulp me up until I’m wet, so wet, I would weigh five times heavier, and I’d be sucked down and hugged by the cold soft soil; I would daydream in it, careless about time and people and everything else, and dear God I promise I would be the happiest thing alive.

*

Today was raining lots and lots I almost wished I could play in the wet damp earth, getting myself soaked from head to toe. Just thinking of it relieved some stress I guess. And of course, for about the hundredth time (literally), I forgot to bring back my umbrella from school. Mom was so upset.

I hadn’t eaten anything today – again. I’ve been starving myself for so long I can’t even differentiate hunger from nausea anymore. I hope it doesn’t sound too creepy.

The upcoming exams would have everything to do with my loss of appetite.

 

 

 

6:55 PM

June 22, 2017

Having a hard time focusing. Final Exams are in two weeks. 

*

We’ve just finished our last three periods of Microprocessor. Just last week we moved on to external interrupts, and I had a hard time getting myself on track. I got a lucky grade of a 100 on today’s evaluation, but I’d really have to spend some more time practicing.

Physics II is such a captivating subject I dearly adore. It’s very attractive – enchanting, almost, all the theories and the beauty of the finest equations.

Acing Calculus. Grueling, but I guess it’s rewarding enough.

*

Feeling so blue and gray and pale and dark. Definitely the exams are stressing me out. There should be a word to coin this tiresome distress. Something like examinautiousness could work. Sounds disgusting enough.

 

 

 

04:07 PM

Pale Blue Dot

” Look again at that dot. That’s here. That’s home. That’s us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every “superstar,” every “supreme leader,” every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there — on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.

 The Earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that, in glory and triumph, they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot. Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of this pixel on the scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner, how frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent their hatreds.

 Our posturings, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some privileged position in the Universe, are challenged by this point of pale light. Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark. In our obscurity, in all this vastness, there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves.

 The Earth is the only world known so far to harbor life. There is nowhere else, at least in the near future, to which our species could migrate. Visit, yes. Settle, not yet. Like it or not, for the moment the Earth is where we make our stand.

 It has been said that astronomy is a humbling and character-building experience. There is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our tiny world. To me, it underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly with one another, and to preserve and cherish the pale blue dot, the only home we’ve ever known.”

– Carl Sagan, Pale Blue Dot, 1994